Oh fuck off.

*oh yes a rant. yay.

Cheers to you, Substackers.

Have a listen. She’ll make you smile.

On a shoot in Atlanta, I had the opportunity to work with Mr. Tyler Perry. He started humming this song, while in character. And I needed to ask him not to, as much as it pained me to do so, because for almost two decades, this song was always included on a mixed tape that I made for someone. He did a good job of it but alas, the content of the song is not suitable for air.

So, in the spirit of Millie Jackson today, I have a few dollops of WTF for you. Some are universal, some are just really about me. Also with respect to the unhoused who have problems way worse than this list of mishegas.

Fuck off to the tall person, who stands in front of me, a woman who is five foot tall, at events where standing is required and there is a stage with humans on it. Why aren’t you in the back of the room, where your considerate tall cohort are? Is there a way to petition event producers to cordon off an area exclusive to tall folks? I know, you’re people too, yada yada yada.

Fuck off to the car-horn honkers. Hello to the shit talkers, I do enjoy you.

Fuck off to the lazy asses who do not give up their seats to the pregnant woman on any mode of public transportation. And it’s not just an American thing.

Fuck off all retail stores who do not have a couch area for those of us weary non-shoppers dragged to the store with their shopping friends.

Fuck off to all the haters of women who invest in their bodies, their faces, their minds. Ladies, do you. You want something bigger, something smaller, something smoother? Have at it. You want to go natural, go braless, go commando? Yes, girl, yes. I’m a big fan of your agency.

Fuck off to writer’s block. Is it my inertia? Is it me, really? Is it that thing that someone said last week that I can’t stop thinking about that’s getting in the way of me not finishing one damned sentence on the page of my next novel project?

Fuck off to the cost of air travel. I can’t get to anywhere without it costing what a business class ticket once cost. The New York Times thinks travelers aren’t deterred by the cost, but they neglected to speak to me about it.

That’s it for this Friday. I’m feeling much better. Listen to some Millie, you will too.